Merlin
As we wait for Commander North, the team sit shooting the shit, blowing off steam. Nearly three weeks in the mountains of Morocco, hunting down known traffickers, we’re a little wound up and ready for some downtime.
“Good morning,” he says, entering the room. “We’ve got a lot of ground to cover this morning, so let’s get down to it, shall we?”
He places a stack of folders and papers on the table, and his gaze takes each one of us in, as if gauging how we’re doing. Apparently happy with what he sees, he starts the debrief. Going over the facts and events of the mission, we get through it by lunchtime and are looking forward to being dismissed.
“Gentlemen, I know you’re looking forward to your R and R, but we’ve had some intel come in about the group you were hunting in Morocco. I need your eyes on the info while the facts are still fresh in your minds. Just a couple of days, and then I’ll be happy to grant you your time off. Unless something else comes up, I’ll even throw in a couple of extra days to compensate.”
A good-natured groan goes up, but I simply reply, “No problem, sir. What’ve you got for us?”
The commander passes folders around the table. “There’s been whispers the group is redoubling their efforts after you hit their operation outside Marrakesh. They’re pissed as hell we rescued their captives who’d already been earmarked for specific buyers.
“Their buyers are equally pissed and are demanding ‘replacements’,” he continues, using air quotes to emphasize replacements. His face twists in distaste. “A list of the buyers is included in the folder, and there are some hard hitters on there. People with the money and clout to get what they want. So, we need to shut this operation down.”
Commander North pauses a moment as he searches for something in the folder. Finding what he’s looking for, the man holds a photo up for all to see. “In your info packs is a copy of this image. Study it, acquaint yourselves with it. The man in the photo goes by the name Edgar Mason and has been gainfully employed at StanCorp for the past five years.
“A British National, his real name is Bruce Whitcomb. Employed as the Chief Financial Officer of StanCorp, it’s put him in a position to not only skim from the top, but also use the company to launder money from the sale of, mostly, young women — the younger the better. Sometimes, though, there are requests for boys.”
The atmosphere in the room turns electric at his words. We see the absolute worst of humanity in our job, but trafficking slices deep. The buying and selling of human beings — men, women, boys, girls, they’re all fair game — just hits different.
Shuffling through the contents of the folder, I find the image of Edgar Mason. As I lift it out of the folder, I catch sight of Phillip Stanton beneath it. “Is Phillip Stanton involved in this, sir?” I ask.
Being the son of Senator Grant Stanton, Phillip Stanton being involved in this would rock the political world and have far-reaching consequences.
“Not that we can find. We’ve been through his staff with a fine-tooth comb, but found no evidence that anyone else on his payroll is involved in Mason’s depraved activities.”
I lift the photo of Stanton to see the one beneath, and it feels like I’ve been sucker punched. A recent photo of my Leila stares up at me. No. Not my Leila anymore. I fucked that up five years ago when I broke not only her heart but my own.
My head was in a really bad place after Maverick was killed. Seeing the hell Sheri was going through while trying to keep it together for her two small children, I thought I was sparing Leila the same pain. When I finally pulled my head out of my ass, I realized how badly I’d fucked up but couldn’t figure out how to fix it.
Worse, I lost my connection to Sheri for a while. She was so pissed off at me for what I’d done. Thankfully, she eventually forgave me after we had a throw-down, drag-out yelling match and I broke down. Not my proudest moment, but certainly one of my most vulnerable.
I’m jerked out of my musings when Ace kicks my booted foot under the table.
“What the fuck, dude?” I whisper. He nods toward the commander.
“You back with us, Merlin?” Commander North enquires.
“Yes, sir. My apologies. I was just looking through the intel here,” I reply.
The rest of the afternoon is spent researching, strategizing, and going through the intelligence contained in the folder. At the end of the day, while everyone’s attention is focused on wrapping up for the afternoon, I’m driven to surreptitiously snap a shot of Leila’s photo with my phone.
Locking the folder away in my desk drawer, I follow the rest of the team out to the parking lot. The guys are talking amongst themselves, making plans to grab a bite.
“You in Merlin?” George Alvez, known to all as Cougar, asks.
“Nah, I’ve got stuff to do,” I reply, shaking my head for emphasis.
Stopping beside his motorcycle, he studies me for a moment, but all he says is, “All good, man. See you in the morning then.”
My only response is a chin lift as I keep walking toward my truck. The rest of the guys call out their goodbyes, and I wave in response.
I reach my car, and Ace stops beside me.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?” I answer his question with my own.
“Merlin, I saw the contents of that folder. We all did.”
My body goes rock solid, the muscles clenched tight. I was so lost in my own misery, it didn’t even occur to me that the guys were seeing the same thing I was.
“I’m fine.” It’s all I can manage to say past the lump in my throat and my gritted teeth.
“Yeah?” Sarcasm clear in that single word, I nod, my teeth still tightly clenched.
“Well, I call bullshit.”
“Yeah?” I repeat his earlier question back at him. “Well, fuck you, Ace.”
The man stares at me, wordlessly, for long seconds, and it’s all I can do not to fidget under his intense scrutiny. Anger flashes across his face, for just the briefest moment, before he masks it. He nods once.
“That’s how we’re playing this. Coolio. You have a good evening.” With that he turns on his heel and walks away, leaving me feeling like a colossal asshole.
“Ace — wait.”
“Later,” he replies, not even breaking his stride.
I stare down at my booted feet and sigh. Fuck. I hate being on the outs with Ace, or any of the guys. But Leila isn’t something I can talk about. That wound may no longer be a festering one, but it’s barely scabbed over. Talking about her will only rip it open and leave me a bleeding mess, once again.
With another sigh, I get into the truck, pull out my phone, and dash off an apology to Ace. I tuck my phone back in my pants pocket, start her up, and head for home, not looking forward to a crappy evening by myself.
Yeah, I could join the guys, but I’d be terrible company, and it’s unfair to inflict that on them.
I’m just letting myself into the house when my phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out to see a reply from Ace, accepting my apology. Thank fuck for that. Since losing Mav, Ace and I have gotten closer. I mean, we’re a tight-knit group in general, even Phantom. Jake Stevens took over Maverick’s spot on the team five years ago, and while he could never replace him, he’s as much a part of this team as Mav was.
Opening the fridge, I stand studying the contents for way too long. Nothing inspires me, so I shut the door again. God, I can’t stand myself when I get into a funk like this. I don’t have anything better to do, I figure I may as well go ahead and shower.
I empty my pockets onto my dresser, and as I take my phone out, I feel an overwhelming need to see Leila’s face again. It’s not a good idea, I know that. I should never have taken a snap of her photo for this very reason. The last thing I need is to be brooding over a woman I walked away from.
Helpless to prevent myself, though, I open my photo gallery and find myself staring into her beautiful eyes. Falling into them, more like. Leila always did have the most expressive eyes, and face. You knew you were in deep shit when she masked what she was thinking or feeling.
Like always, I find myself getting lost in those smoky gray orbs, and I feel myself getting hard as I lose myself in memories of our years together. Times I had blocked out of my mind in my bid to save my sanity.
I have no idea how long I stand staring at my phone, but the sound of an email coming in pulls me out of my head. Since it’s nothing important, I put the phone down on the dresser and undress. Packing everything away neatly, dirty laundry in the hamper, I head for the master bath. A cold shower is just what I need.
But five minutes into my shower, I’m shivering my ass off and still turned way the hell on. Giving up, I turn the hot water on to warm up. As the cascading water sends rivulets running over my now sensitive nipples, my thoughts still firmly centered on Leila despite my best efforts, I find myself going hard again.
There’s nothing for it but to take care of my raging hard-on. Closing my eyes, I wrap a hand around my dick and, with zero effort, images of a very sexy Leila flicker through my mind. A memory of the last time I got to make love to her pops into my head, playing out like a movie on the big screen.
All made up from our date night, she took my breath away. She’d done something to her eyes, making them smoky and mysterious, as if the gray orbs held the secrets to the universe. Her full, pouty lips, a luscious red, had me desperate to see them wrapped around my dick — to see it glide in and out of that hot, wet mouth of hers.
Her dress was a contradiction, making her look demure and like a siren, all at the same time. All evening I’d been getting glimpses of the lushness that lay beneath the floaty material — a thigh, her bare back — and I was itching to get my hands on all that soft, glorious skin.
Dick in hand, my strokes become more frantic and urgent as the memories of how Leila did a striptease for me, ratcheting desire up and up until I was ready to rip her pretty dress from her body. With a lick of her lips and a husky laugh at my impatience, she undid the tie of her halter neck, allowing the material to glide down her body and pool at her feet.
Standing in nothing but a barely-there thong, she ran her hands over her tits, tugging at the pebbled nipples before moving toward her underwear.
“Planning on standing there ogling me all night, sailor, or are you going to do something about this almighty ache I have going on between my thighs?”
I reach for her, and as my hands touch her skin in my mind, my hand tugging frantically in real life, I feel the tingle right before my orgasm hits. Coming hard, all over my hand and on the tiles of the shower, I brace my free hand against the wall as my knees weaken with the intensity.
With thoughts of Leila still running rampant, neither my body nor my mind are satisfied, and loneliness swamps me.